Yee-haw, friends! I don’t know about you but I can barely bark tonight – I’ve almost ruffing lost my voice! See, last night I spent almost 45 minutes yapping non-stop at an intruder, who was trying to make his way into our home through the hot-mouth. He’s lucky it was my teeth and not the mouth that tried to stop him – his fur looked like the kind the mouth likes to swallow without chewing. And he had a lot worth chewing, let me tell you that.

Anyhow, by the time my human Sage had calmed down, I realized that he was none other than the legendary Santa Claws! That’s right, I saw him in the fur! Oh Dog, and was he ever nice. After I helped him clean up the packages he had dropped – by ripping out the insides and burying them under the rug of course – he pulled out a succulent bone for me. What a guy! While I was enjoying it, Sage helped him bring out a few other packages – I was too busy to help with those – and in no time he was gone. And so was I, out like a light.
And all I’ve done today has been chewchewchew, pee, drink, chewchew, napnapnapnap, chew. It’s a dawg’s life, bitches. And may it be so for years to come.
And so I wish you all, my furry, fuzzy friends, the finest, chewiest holiday season! I hope Santa Claws was nice to you all (and didn’t scare the beagleezus out of you!), and that you were good to you human(s).
Merry Chewsmaws, Buster

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