Happy ruffing New Ear, everypals!
I can’t believe we’re already into 2010 – things have been so zip-a-di-doo-da that I haven’t been able to put paw to paper. I’ve been busy with my brand new set of New Ear’s Resolutions!
This Ear I have decided to become enlightened, by giving in to all of my beastly instincts, wants and needs. In doing so, I hope to know myself best – and also end any self-destructive patterns! I think I spent too many nights last ear in the Dawg House - this ear will be different.
And, it’s important to keep my doggy traditions alive, so that I can pawse them on to my youngin‘ AND stroke my sense of self. My human Sage takes care of my body, I take care of my ego. You know.
For you critters out there familiar with a doggy’s drive, the following will come as no surprise to you. For the rest of yaw’ll, I share the inner workings of my poochy mind:
1. I resolve to better groom myself in a calm, gentle manner. No longer will I incessantly, compulsively licklicklick just anywhere: I will choose each hair carefully, lingering only long enough to coax that hair to its place. This will not only keep my ego in check (I will be dapper: check, I will look slick: check), but will assist me in maintaining a zen-like state.
2. I resolve to keep my herd circled, and within my control. All small objects, including single socks and children’s toys, will flock together while I keep watch. This will fulfill my deep drive to protect my stock – and my need for strict organization. I will do this daily, more than several times. In a non-obsessive way, of course.
3. I resolve to maintain my high-energy needs with fresh, healthy food. I will not beg for tasty, though nutrtious-less, human-made morsels. No. I will stay disciplined in my dietary choices, and will feed only when my human schedules me. My body will thank me (probably later and when I am sleeping, but I will know).
4. I resolve to continue to alert my humans to any and all potential dangers. Particularly the tall, gauze-like ghosts that blow in from the windows; and the small, white, paper aliens that descend through the door. But I will refrain from using bite, and use only my bark. I need not harm these dangers with physical force – I am bigger than that.
5. I resolve to let the neighbor’s cat think that she is Mistress. I will humor her. She thinks that I am a silly, simple animal – but she knows not the power of the Border Collie. Most importantly, I will train myself to remain still and not respond to her beckoning me to chase her – I will show no display of reaction. Instead, I will maybe raise one eyebrow as I calmly, gently lick my hairs into their place – before I circle and nap. This will make her crazy.
6. I resolve to further engage with the neighbor’s cat – but only enough to show her that I, am an enlightened animal. By not reacting to her bullying, manipulating ways, she will learn that I am one cool pup. She will bow-wow to me – and in turn I will bow-wow to her. We will see our evolved selves in each other. We will be free from our perceived conditions. Namaste.
7. I resolve not to prematurely dig up my buried bones. I will not be impatient, but instead will allow the bones to reach their putrid maturity in their own time. The stink will be worth it. I will be so happy.
8. I resolve not to chew my human’s brand new, shiny, florescent green shoes. Even if they resemble my favorite tennis ball. I will allow my nose to gently press against the heel, and the tip of my tongue to graze the toes – but this is all. Indulgence in destructive behavior is a symptom from within, and this ear I will control myself.
9. I resolve not to eat poop.
10. I resolve to continue to help my fellow furry, feathered, slithery, slimy, and otherwise, friends stay happy and healthy. I will continue to send love and affection to all beasts, guiding us as we enjoy the best ear yet!
Pals, if you haven’t put down your resolutions yet I encourage you to do so. Tend to your instincts, don’t suppress them – but temper the self-destructive bits. You and your humans will be so much happier!
Love always, Buster
Photo Credit: tinyfroglet