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My Top Ten Enlightened Resolutions!

on January 6, 2010
Posted in News

Zen KittyHappy ruffing New Ear, everypals!

I can’t believe we’re already into 2010 – things have been so zip-a-didooda that I haven’t been able to put paw to paper. I’ve been busy with my brand new set of New Ear’s Resolutions!

This Ear I have decided to become enlightened, by giving in to all of my beastly instincts, wants and needs. In doing so, I hope to know myself best – and also end any self-destructive patterns! I think I spent too many nights last ear in the Dawg House – this ear will be different.

And, it’s important to keep my doggy traditions alive, so that I can pawse them on to my youngin‘ AND stroke my sense of self. My human Sage takes care of my body, I take care of my ego. You know.

For you critters out there familiar with a doggy’s drive, the following will come as no surprise to you. For the rest of yaw’ll, I share the inner workings of my poochy mind:

1. I resolve to better groom myself in a calm, gentle manner. No longer will I incessantly, compulsively licklicklick just anywhere: I will choose each hair carefully, lingering only long enough to coax that hair to its place. This will not only keep my ego in check (I will be dapper: check, I will look slick: check), but will assist me in maintaining a zen-like state.

2. I resolve to keep my herd circled, and within my control. All small objects, including single socks and children’s toys, will flock together while I keep watch. This will fulfill my deep drive to protect my stock – and my need for strict organization. I will do this daily, more than several times. In a non-obsessive way, of course.

3. I resolve to maintain my high-energy needs with fresh, healthy food. I will not beg for tasty, though nutrtious-less, human-made morsels. No. I will stay disciplined in my dietary choices, and will feed only when my human schedules me. My body will thank me (probably later and when I am sleeping, but I will know).

4. I resolve to continue to alert my humans to any and all potential dangers. Particularly the tall, gauze-like ghosts that blow in from the windows; and the small, white, paper aliens that descend through the door. But I will refrain from using bite, and use only my bark. I need not harm these dangers with physical force – I am bigger than that.

5. I resolve to let the neighbor’s cat think that she is Mistress. I will humor her. She thinks that I am a silly, simple animal – but she knows not the power of the Border Collie. Most importantly, I will train myself to remain still and not respond to her beckoning me to chase her – I will show no display of reaction. Instead, I will maybe raise one eyebrow as I calmly, gently lick my hairs into their place – before I circle and nap. This will make her crazy.

6. I resolve to further engage with the neighbor’s cat – but only enough to show her that I, am an enlightened animal. By not reacting to her bullying, manipulating ways, she will learn that I am one cool pup. She will bow-wow to me – and in turn I will bow-wow to her. We will see our evolved selves in each other. We will be free from our perceived conditions. Namaste.

7. I resolve not to prematurely dig up my buried bones. I will not be impatient, but instead will allow the bones to reach their putrid maturity in their own time. The stink will be worth it. I will be so happy.

8. I resolve not to chew my human’s brand new, shiny, florescent green shoes. Even if they resemble my favorite tennis ball. I will allow my nose to gently press against the heel, and the tip of my tongue to graze the toes – but this is all. Indulgence in destructive behavior is a symptom from within, and this ear I will control myself.

9. I resolve not to eat poop.

10. I resolve to continue to help my fellow furry, feathered, slithery, slimy, and otherwise, friends stay happy and healthy. I will continue to send love and affection to all beasts, guiding us as we enjoy the best ear yet!

Pals, if you haven’t put down your resolutions yet I encourage you to do so. Tend to your instincts, don’t suppress them – but temper the self-destructive bits. You and your humans will be so much happier!

Love always, Buster

Photo Credit: tinyfroglet

Read also: Talking To Pets As If They Were Humans Actually Makes You Smarter

Our Expert

Dr. Janice Huntingford
Janice Huntingford, DVM, has been in veterinary practice for over 30 years and has founded two veterinary clinics since receiving her Doctor of Veterinary Medicine at the Ontario Veterinary College, University of Guelph. She has studied extensively in both conventional and holistic modalities. Ask Dr. Jan

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